Joke Thread

[OldBoy]

Originally Posted by karenoliver

Anyone else think Oldboy should change his username to Naughtyboy? :-)

Karen

Originally Posted by wavemachine

Or Old <<SomethingElse>>

[GeoffWessex]

Primary Teacher explains to her class that she is a Newcastle fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they too are Newcastle fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, 'Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?' 'Because I'm not a Newcastle fan, miss,' she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Newcastle fan, then who are you a fan of?' 'I am a Sunderland fan, and proud of it,' Mary replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Mary, why, pray tell, are you a Sunderland fan?' 'Because my mum is a Sunderland fan, and my dad is a Sunderland fan, so I'm a Sunderland fan too!' 'Well,' said the teacher in an obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Sunderland fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time... What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict, what would you be then?' Mary smiled, 'Then, miss, I'd be a Newcastle fan'.

[DigiDiva]

HAHA Geoff, I love it...being from Sunderland!

[GeoffWessex]

I posted that joke last week.... and then yesterday my team (or Wrexham) were drawn against Newcastle in the next round of the Cup! But I suppose footballers don't have photography as a hobby....... come to think of it, what DO they do in their spare time, apart from buying expensive things?

[DigiDiva]

drinking, parties?

[Reinardina]

The shortest 'He She' joke:

She: "I've never kissed a man. .."
He: "Neither have I."

[highlandscenics]

A horse and Celine Dion walk into a bar, the barman looks at Celine and says "Why the long face?"....


What do you a man with a seagull on his head?....Cliff


A man walks into a Butchers shop..."Have you got a sheeps head?" asks the man, "No" replies the Butcher, "It's the way I brush my hair"



I thank you, I'm here all week folks....

[wavemachine]

My wife said there is a man at the door with a bill! I replied are you sure it isn't a duck in a suit?

Q. What's the difference between outlaws and inlaws?
A. Outlaws are wanted.

Q. What's the similarity between a VAT inspector and a pelican?
A. They can both shove their bill up their bottom!

[DigiDiva]

Guffaw..........................

Man goes to see the doc, he says "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a pig"......Doc says "how long you been feeling like this"?....Guy says "About a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek"

[jet_kit]

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'