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Firstly I think it works better in colour mainly because you see the colour of his face, eyes and shirt which contrast well, I think you lose this in the conversion. In addition the foreground becomes indistinguishable in mono (it's not that distinguishable in colour).
This looks like an over the shoulder shot used in film and TV which is to do with screen direction, editing and telling the story. I like candids like this in landscape orientation with the subject's eyeline looking at the person he is in converation with (the shoulder). However there are too many distractions to make it work. The entire scene appears to be lit by frontal direct flash and the shoulder has taken the brunt of it, the shoulder is also too prominent in the frame. The background between them perhaps could do with toning down a little as I can't really see it serving a purpose.
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