Two friends are fishing near a bridge. Suddenly a Hearse and two Funeral Cars go over the bridge so one of the men stands up, takes off his cap and bows his head. When the cars have gone he puts his cap back on, sits back down and carries on fishing. His mate turns to him and says,
" Dave, that's one of the nicest most respectful things I've ever seen "
Dave replies,
" Well we were married for nearly 20 years "
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix.
They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency...
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning,
can you believe that 2:30am?!
Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums............
Missus goes to her Doctors for her test results....
Dr says....I'm really sorry but you have Hypochondria....
Missus says don't say I've got that as well!!
Such an unfair world, when a man talks dirty to a woman it's sexual harassment, but when a woman talks dirty to a man it's £1.50 a minute! (some networks may vary)
a few to keep you chuckling
