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If you shoot in Tv or Av modes, the camera assumes you are using fill flash. That is why the metering seems wrong - it is metering for the background and when you use the flash it, the flash will be metered separately.
If you want the flash to be the main source of light, then the easiest way is to use P or green square.
Unless I have enough light to get shutter and aperature values that are reasonable (Rallying springs to mind!) then I will often use manual. I just dial in what I want and let the flash work its self out - sometimes adding 1 or 2 stops of FEC, depending on what I'm trying to achieve.
I think there is a article on photonotes website, but I can't remember!!
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