Hi Phil, I actually like the top shot myself as it has just about the right amount of contrast. It was Ansel Adams who invented the zone system so that he could work out the various shades between pure black and pure white. As b/w photography is more to do with the way light plays with shadows and hilights than just pretty pictures, it is this understanding of light that enables us to interpret the mood for the image. Of course the usual science of composition is as important, but because an image is stripped bare of its inherent colour getting the midtones as well as the blacks and whites right is more important to the success of the image. Here's an article about Adams' zone system along with a guide to the shades that I found extremely helpful when processing my b/w stuff. It might be helpful to you too.
http://www.normankoren.com/zonesystem.html
Keith